Do you know how you can hear things in life and think: wow, that’s brilliant and it really hits home, but then you realize it days, months, or even years later – like it’s the first time again? If you are wondering; WTF is she talking about… you are one of those weird creatures who learns things the first time and I don’t like you. Just kidding. In all seriousness, I’m feeling settled in my commitment to STOP the madness of self-loathing, and I’m going to write about it just in case you want to stop as well. Or you can read and be Judgey McJudgey Pants, but that rather defeats the purpose, dear one.
I’ve spent the past two years living near where I grew up, in the rural Midwest. There were countless opportunities to heal and realize some pretty amazing things. It can be summed up as: I want to live my life for me; my values, my ideas and my vision. It’s time I release other’s ideas of who I “should” be (P.S. I hate that shameful word). Much of the pain on my journey thus far has been caused by feeling that I don’t measure up to other people’s expectation of who I should be. What crazy-making! I mean seriously, people whose lives I would never choose to live are not the ones I should look to in order to determine my own feelings of worthiness…
I’m about to move full-on into adulthood by buying a house in Vancouver, WA after recently accepting a faculty position at a local college. I’ve had a little grief over the fact that my life doesn’t “look” like I thought it was going to at this age. I’m over that now. I’m really quite excited about being an independent woman who needs nothing and no-one but herself dressed in some confidence and self-appreciation…
It’s never too late to be who you are really are, or to fall in love with yourself.
Peace.
Plant-Strong Pearls 